Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The Honor's All His Honor's

Today is the last day I have to do Jay Appleton's chores as punishment for losing that basketball bet--one week and not a minute more!!! So naturally the little creep milked every moment of my time. Then he was supposed to go with me into town for my dental appointment, but he insisted on riding my shoulders and steering me past some teen hangout where all his friends would see us. Oh, didn't I tell you that Jay Appleton has friends? Yes, it seems that absolutely everybody has friends except for me. All I have are cows!!!

But I didn't get to meet Jay's friends cuz there was a police roadblock across Bypass Road. They must have known I was coming, cuz it's hard to believe they've been setting up like that every day with all those lights, sirens, bullet-proof vests, riot gear, fire trucks--yeah, fire trucks, the kind with the long ladders. That must be in case they need to rescue a kitten from my hair, I guess. And in the middle of the whole noisy-flashy mess was a thin man in a sharp white suit with crossed arms and the meanest scowl I've ever seen.

"That's Mr. Peterson," Jay whispered into my ear, and for that moment I was glad to have him on my shoulders.

"Mr. Peterson from the school board?" I asked.

"Yeah. His dad is the mayor."

"Great..." I tried to imagine Mr. Peterson as a timid cow, but he totally didn't look the part. So much for that little piece of advice. Thanks for nothing, LadyNerd!!!

"Do you have business in my town, Miss Mills?" Mr. Peterson asked.

"Your town? It's my town too, you know. Born and raised."

Some of the police officers adjusted their taser-guns, cuz I guess they didn't like my disrespectful tone, but Mr. Peterson waved them back. "Say you're sorry, quick!" Jay urged into my ear. I might have, except I didn't feel like I had anything to be sorry for.

"I have a dental appointment at eleven," I told Mr. Peterson. "If you move your toy soldiers out of my way, I should be able to just make it."

The man's face turned bright red, and I felt a panicked tornado in my stomach. I flashed back to the first time I "rampaged" through town and expected history to repeat itself--and it might have, except this time history was stopped by another man in a white suit that was even brighter and more spiffy than Mr. Peterson's, with a red rose in the lapel button. "What all is going on here?" the new man asked.

"Papa, please, let me handle this," said Mr. Peterson.

"Papa?" I asked.

"That's Mayor Peterson," Jay told me.

"Young Miss," said the mayor, addressing me. "You have my sincerest apologies for the dunderheaded actions of my boy. Gets a little big for his britches sometimes, if you know what I mean."

"Maybe I could lend him a pair of mine," I offered.

"Indeed, indeed," said the mayor with a wink, and such a charming laugh that I wondered how him and the younger Mr. Peterson could possibly be related. "You have a good day now, miss."

"Thanks, Your Honor. You too!!!"

"You're going to let her just stroll through town?" Mr. Peterson demanded of his father. "Think of the panic!"

"I see guns and uniforms on your side of the street and two innocent children on the other. Now tell me, boy, which would folks around here be more panicked about?"

"I'm just counting down the days until that school board meeting," said Mr. Peterson through gritted teeth. I felt his eyes burning holes in my back as I walked away into town.

After that, the dental appointment itself was pretty routine, or at least I think it was. I really have no way of knowing, since it was my first time ever having my teeth looked at. Does every dentist use ropes to hang out a second-story window and look into a person's mouth, or was that just for me?


  1. *sigh* I don't think that's a very fair representation of my comment, Melly. You're a smarter girl than that.

    But you handled this disrespectful and foolish Mr. Peterson very well. I guess now we know his true colors, and you'll have to watch out for him from now on. I had hoped the board wouldn't be like that, but as usual, you were right on the mark with your reaction to being disrespected. You didn't have to apologize to anyone acting so badly! Just because they want to treat you as inferior doesn't mean you have to play along with their twisted thinking!

    Of course, the tornado you describe wouldn't have been ideal to let out, but that didn't happen! You have a friend in the Mayor! Hooray!

    No Melly, us tiny people usually lay down in tiny little dentist chairs and the dentist can just stand over us and look down.

  2. I have a chair now that Mr. Appleton made for me and a desk to go with it. Maybe I can bring it to my next dental appointment!!! The chair, I mean, not the desk--although maybe the Dr. Ham could stand on the desk and I could lean over for her.

  3. pie guy: i did not mean the gift it self but the thought and hard work involve how you like if you maid someone something but then after you left you just rag about it not cool pluse whydid you not lay down on the ground or bend down what if he fell in you'll have a dentist you'll never have junk food again!!

  4. I guess maybe you have a point, Pie Guy. Next time I see Mrs. Johansson I'll thank her for the dresses and I'll try to act like I mean it--but that doesn't mean I have to wear them!!!

    I wouldn't worry about the dentist, either. They were totally expecting me and had this platform for the dentist to stand on, like they probably use for washing the windows.

    Hey, maybe that could be a good job for me. I could wash windows that nobody else can reach!!!


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Illustrator Challenge

Artists can create illustrations of me or the events in my life, as long as they are appropriate for my young readers. Any previous post on this blog can be illustrated. If I like an image that goes well with a post on the blog, I may add a small thumbnail version along with credit to the artist and a link to the full-sized image. Images of me posted elsewhere should link back to the "Giant Girl Rampages" blog.

If you want to draw a picture of me, here's what you need to know:

I'm 15 years old and almost (but not quite) 18 feet tall. Mrs. Appleton says I'm very pretty and well proportioned, which I guess is a complement. I'm not super thin or anything but I think I'm in pretty good shape.

I have dirty blonde hair that's kind of wild because I trim it with Pa's old hedge trimmers. My eyes are green as the ocean, as Ma always said, but I wouldn't know because I've never seen an ocean. My skin is tanned from being out in the sun a lot but not too dark and (usually) not burned.

I wear a blouse and skirt-shorts that my mother quilted for me three years ago. They look like a big patchwork cuz she used many squares of fabric and cowhide. I've grown since then, so the skirt-shorts no longer come down to my knees, my blouse is way tight, and there's a bit of skin showing in between. I don't have any shoes (and that makes me sad to think about so I usually don't).

If you do draw my picture, send the link in a comment so I can post it to my blog. Thanks!!!

Fan-Fiction Challenge

You can write fan-fiction about me if you want. Just let everyone know your story is made up and not real, unlike this blog which is absolutely 100% true.

Be sure to link back to my blog and I'll link to the stories I like best!!!